Death.

People die everyday. Yes, sometimes its your loved one. It is really hard to accept the fact that they just had gone to a better place. The pain is.. cannot be put into words. Buts its nature, its the cycle of life. You have to simply accept the fact and let go. Personally, I had my own experience when your loved one is snatched away. Twice at once. I am writing this not to make people look at me with different perspective but I wrote this to show people that i had over come this. It was a long process, if i did it so can everyone of you. My grandmother had been suffering for cancer for years. She kept it to herself until there was an outbreak. Suddenly things were different. There was an outbreak. And suddenly, days at home eating her home cooked meal had turned into daily trips to the hospital. She was strong, she held on and will try to be the same. There were times when she will not receive any medications because it makes her feel weak. She will be moaning in pain. She would scream at me when i gave her pain killers saying I am doing this to shut her up. I know how badly she wants to see her orchid and there were times when she admitted she see things floating above her trying to take her away. It was hard. All my cousins and I could do is just bring the joy into her room. My cousins and i were still young. We would sing and changed the song that she sang to us when we were kid into rap and you name it. She would smile and it is priceless because she spend most of the days knocked out by the drugs. We wanted to put her to sleep but she would not go through this without a fight. She hang on. There were times when the she start gasping for air and suddenly there was nothing. We thought we had loose her as she had stopped breathing. Suddenly she sprung back to life when we were crying and demand for a drumstick. She would than demand everyone to gather around her bed and start scolding each and everyone of us. She was nearly back to normal. But deep down i know she had came back because she was worry about us. Especially her grandchild. As if the God had not taken enough away from me, my grandfather was struck by cancer. Lung cancer. Nobody told him because we knew he was nothing like my grandmother. He will give up in life. My mum being a super woman rush to two houses to look after them and she, taking over my grandmother's gene was strong. She did not give her time to moan. I was in school, having lessons as usual when suddenly my mum appear at my doorsteps with my brother beside her.I knew something was wrong. I was chilling because i thought it was a false alarm, it had to be, it happened for a few times. When suddenly my mum burst out crying. She accepted a call and kept saying hold on under her breathe. I held my brother tight secretly hoping she would let go to free herself from the pain. All of us were not there on time. My dad was sitting beside her at all times. The moment when he walked out and came back in lesser than 5 minutes time, she was gone. My mum rushed in and she being a strong woman still put on a poker face and arranged the funeral. She joked around but i knew she need her moment to cry. I was putting on my best poker face too, hugging my cousin sisters who was also too late to see the last of her. But as strong as my mum and i were, we broke down and cry alas, when everything was almost over. The next morning, my dad went to check on my grandfather. He sat there in the sofa. My dad called him for breakfast but he sat there silently. That is when my dad knew, he was gone too. It was unexpected, he was suppose to have a few more months left. Than everything went on. I was too numb to cry. How did I face it? By simply accepting that they are in a better place now. That one day I will reunite with them. That they are not dead because they will always be in my heart. I choose to remember the great times we had. Not the trips to the hospital and watching the drug taking them away. It was not easy but it worked. Now, my family can talk about them without holding back. My mum still held on to the necklace my grandma gave her. Believe in God, tell yourself that they are at a better place now free from sufferings. Tell yourself that they are waiting for you when the time comes. Don't be afraid of death because it will come anyway. Spend the most out of your life. Do your best, at least you will die knowing that I had made the best out of my life.

Believe in God. God is Just and everything happens for a reason.

Friend's Protocol

Yes, sometimes watching your friend getting into trouble is the worst thing that can ever happen. You will do anything to protect them. You will do anything to back him/she up even if it means hurting yourself or even getting yourself into trouble. The problem is what if he/she refuse to accept what are you doing because they are too self-centered (without realizing) to think that you simply do not understand them well enough. They will soon get piss with you for not supporting or even worst trying to stop them. But seriously, what can you do in this situation?

Assume that your friend is dating this girl. She is the worst nightmare. You know so much about her and suddenly she is dating your bff. Your first action might be talking some sense into him. But of cause most of them will refuse to listen. And you soon give in thinking "meh, they will break up soon anyways."

So the problem start arising, your friends parents found out. The girl had broken his family apart. He is always depressed by the pressure his parents give them. It is clear to you that it is too late to pull him back because he can even go against his family and of cause you for the girl.


Yes, you might scream at him! You will cry for him! You might even give him the silent treatment just to make some sense into his empty brain. But it does not help. So now what you ask your self. I can't do this and I can't make him stop so what can I do?

Simple, yes, you will be heart broken but slowly try to think back the times when you were in a mess, he was there. When you had fell head over heels for a guy who has a big ASS sign on his forehead. He was there helping you through. Or maybe you broke your arm and he was there to soothe the pain by making the lamest joke ever but you will still laugh at it. Suddenly you will feel that, hey, the sickbay is an amazing place. Than you will slowly think, this is merely just a challenge.

He/she has the right to decide what they want in life. As a friend you had done your part advising him. Now is just to catch him when he falls. Don't scream at his mistakes cause it make things worst. Look at him and smile. Give him a hug and say, hey idiot, i am here. The process is slow and unbearable the entire time. But think, did he complain when you puke all over his shirt when you got too much of those alcohol. You can't help him to decide what is right. Your friend there have to experience the pain himself to stand back up.

~Pain is part of growing up~ As this will make him a better person. Its hard I know, but its the best. And this is a unwritten friend protocol that you had signed up.


Just think bout all the great times and you will be fine :)