An Evil World Out There

For the first time, i took one long day to think of how do i write this blog. It is pretty hard to admit this world we live in is almost hopeless. Gone. Poof. It took me long to realize that I am living in ignorance. There is so much pain happening in the world and I am here having road rage screaming at the car, literally.

So what made me write this? Why didn't i write it before this? This is because I live in denial and again, ignorance. Until i visited this orphanage one day and i stared at these kids thinking, I am really lucky. I am VERY lucky. On the way back i keep thinking, how could they? I got so attached to them in lesser than an hour, and suddenly i just want to do SO much MORE! Especially this beautiful girl I am in charge of. Vivian. The moment i accidentally chosen her i felt this link. It just bonded. Suddenly I tell myself, i will do anything to help this girl. She is very bright. Really beautiful and she is an Indian. And i had just proven that I ain't a racist. Anyways, I feel like giving her all the love I can give. I hugged most of the kids there before leaving and screaming out ' I Love You ' before i leave. When i hop in my car and look at all of them waving as i leave i teared up. I curse their parents in my heart. In fact i hate them. All i thought was how could they do this to their kids. I keep thinking about a perfect excuses for them but my heart keep kicking in and say, that is not an excuse, EVEN NOW

And than my friend kept on telling me, Vy Vyan, that is why we are here. The most horrible thing that could destroy this entire world ever existed is HUMAN. We kill. We destroy each other. We discriminate each other. We hurt each other. But seriously why? Why can't we leave in peace? Why can't we make this world a better place? There are people saying we are doing this to make this world a better place. But I don't see a difference. I see it only gets worst. It just don't make sense. They seek peace by destroying peace. Why can people be so blind. I mean i respect all political parties. Their main thing is to make this world a better place. But there are people out there having this perception that I have to destroy to make this a better place scares me a lot.

As for the kids, I can't entirely blame their parents. They might have their problems that they think its best to leave their kids behind for a better future. I mean a dim light is better than vivid black walls right? But I just can't help thinking, than why can't you prevent having this children if you know that you have no abilities to bring them up? They have siblings in the orphanage. SIBLINGS! I MEAN SERIOUSLY? They seriously think they can afford the second kid when they can't even afford the first?

The main point is, have protected sex. Even better still don't have it until you are ready to bare the consequences. Don't let hedonism kick in and take over your mind. Hedonistic kills most times and ruin not only your future but also the people around you. Use your brain than your heart. Evaluate everything you think with you brain. Don't let your heart do the thinking! JUST DON'T! It never work that way.

Take care. Just seriously, try to make this world a better place by starting from yourself. Think of what i say, said and will be forever saying.

Different Perfection

Everyone is perfect in this world. The problem with everyone is just they are not satisfy with themselves and also other people. So every difference is a perfection and its true. Everyone ask me this question. Vy Vyan, how do you do it? I mean seriously, i fell into a hole and i was laughing it out. I might seem mental but to me it just seem funny. And with that people assume that i have no problems on my own. Or maybe all problems i face are petty and i solve it in a blink of an eye.

What happen if i tell you no. I just push it away and find a way to release the thing inside me with the things that i do. Like i like laughing a lot so i laugh at almost everything. Even if i don't feel like it i still force myself to because i know i will feel better after that. Or i start transferring my feeling onto the black and white keys. Yap, my piano. Maybe its because its the only thing i am good at and the best thing is i have 2 of this beauty and each one is used for different situations. Like when i feel sad, i will use the one in the closed up room and start hitting on the keys and when i feel like there is something inside me that i have to get out of me (good or bad) and i don't know what there is when my beauty, an upright grand, comes in handy. It helps because every song you play tells a story. And you are listening to your own story, suddenly you feel better and you magically comes up with a new song, well at least it happens to me. Or i have a soft part towards my softie, i tend to hug them real tight and the familiar scent will rush through your nose and you will feel better. 

It depends on who you are. Everyone has their own way to let it out, but cutting yourself and picking on others is definitely not the way. My different perfection is being able to laugh at everything even my own mistakes AND of cause being able to joke about anything. Laughter is like a symphony that rushes through my ears and soothes my throat than slowly put my heart in peace. 

So hottest question, is there something behind the smile, well yes, in fact it is under control. There is always something behind every smile its just depending how you control it. Well my daily way to make myself feel better is telling myself, there is somewhere out there, someone will trade anything for my life. There is someone going through worst problem than breaking up with your boyfriend / girlfriend. Or there is a bigger problem than the crush not liking you back. Think about that, and suddenly you will feel stupid for getting sad over stuff like that. Tell yourself, I am VERY lucky and list the worst that could happen from that situation. 

And since there is a lot of my friends trying to hook me up with someone or either guessing that who is that special someone, i would just like to take this opportunity to make things very clear. Being single is fine. I am not looking into any relationships. I have no one in mind. As much as i seem crazy bout girls, those are all JOKES. I am fine being single, and being single does not mean you are lonely. Even if it does, being lonely is not a sin, and when you are alone, you get to set things right. SO i am really fine guys, no need to hook me up. Thanks anyways :)